37. Contemplation

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Ollie smiled as he watched Katja watering the plants. She was so gifted. He couldn’t wait to see her show off her gifts to the other residents of Beacon, and to the world. It wouldn’t be long before their time here was over, he realised. He wasn’t sure how to feel.

On the one hand, he couldn’t wait to marry Katja, for them to choose their new name and to start their life together; he as an innovations designer, she as a horticulturist. On the other, he was anxious. Life at the Academy, whilst difficult sometimes, had become safe and familiar. He didn’t know which of his friends would end up in the same community as he and Katja, although, of course, all twelve communities were only a short shuttle journey away from one another. He wondered when he would see his family again, and whether that would be straight away. Probably not straight away, he thought, he and Katja would have to settle in to their new home and work and to their new community. And then there would be the matter of travel. He had no idea where Beacon was in relation to the rest of the world, or how you might travel to and from it. They’d been told not to worry about such things, but to focus on their studies and on their opportunity here at the Academy, but Ollie couldn’t help wondering sometimes.

It was like how he couldn’t stop praying. He’d gotten into the habit a few months ago, just silently, in his head, praying to God. He mostly prayed for his family, that God would look after them, especially his Opa and Oma. He prayed for Katja, and for himself, that he would be a good husband, that they would have healthy and happy children one day, that they would be a good example.

Ollie prayed for his friends here: for Jamal and Keisha, Nita and Ando, Pal and Rosita, Mary and Tobias, Ethan and Liana, Jennifer and Leif. He prayed that they would be healthy and happy and be able to achieve their potential. He prayed for Jacques, Irina and Niamh, that they would all find the person who was right for them, as he had with Katja. He worried about them, Niamh especially. She’d looked so miserable lately, and he wished he knew how to help her. And he prayed for Susette. It had been a long time since they had seen her, and no-one knew what had happened to her. They didn’t dare ask about her, nor speak her name. Cameras were everywhere and they all knew that being caught saying or doing the wrong thing could have serious repercussions. But he missed her, he worried about her, he hoped she was OK.

Ollie wondered what would happen if anyone knew he prayed. Nobody had ever said believing in God was a bad thing, there were no rules against it, but he instinctively knew it probably wasn’t acceptable. There was no mention of faith or belief anywhere in the Academy and he suspected Beacon would be the same. He was pretty sure there would be no churches or mosques or temples anywhere in the twelve communities. He pondered whether people out there still secretly believed or prayed. He couldn’t be the only one, could he? Still, even if there were others, he doubted they would admit to it. Maybe he himself only took to prayer because it helped him feel closer to home, closer to his Oma, closer to a world beyond these walls.

He looked at Katja again. The sunlight caught in her hair and she glowed like an angel. Ollie smiled. Whatever else he felt, he knew one thing. He was blessed.

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