1. Best friends

Canterbury, England

‘Come on!  Go higher!’ Jenny shouted.

Katie hung back tentatively.  ‘I’m scared.’

‘Don’t be silly, it’s so much fun!’

‘But what if I fall off?’

‘You won’t.  Come on.‘

Katie looked at her friend.  Jenny was so brave, much braver than she was.  Katie was scared, looking at how high Jenny could go on the swing – but she seemed to be safe.

‘Come on, Katie!  What are you afraid of?’

Katie took a risk, dragged her legs back as far as possible and swung, high, higher than she’d ever been before.  Jenny was right!  It was so exciting to be so high, so free.

‘See, Katie!  I told you!  You should always trust me.’

—-

Eight years later….

Jenny Cleaver had harboured a crush on Dallas Shallow since they were in year seven.  So when she heard he was having a party in a few days’ time, she was eager to make sure she and Katie were invited.  She really hoped it’d be then that she could tell him how she felt about him.

Sue was intrigued as to why Jenny was suddenly showing such an interest in her homework.  Her daughter was clearly after something.

‘Is everything OK, Jen?’

‘Mmmm-hmmmm’

‘School going OK?’

‘Mmm’

‘Anything you want to talk about?’

‘No, mum, I’m fine’.

‘OK.  Well, don’t forget, the Domans are coming over for tea tonight.  The weather’s good, so I think your dad wants to do a barbecue’.

Since the girls were such good friends, Sue and Bob Cleaver occasionally had Simon and Jane Doman over for meals.  It seemed silly not to make friends with them, seeing as they lived so close and the girls were always round each other’s houses anyway.

Sue couldn’t wait to see their faces when they tasted the new savoury couscous recipe she’d picked up from her food magazine.  The key was the chipotle spices and the roasted peppers – it would go just right with those  organic steak fillets Bob had picked up from the butcher’s.

Sue loved playing host.  As she poured the pina coladas, she asked Simon and Jane whether they’d seen the documentary the night before about the new Saatchi exhibition at the Tate Modern.

‘It was fascinating’, Bob chipped in.  ‘The new work by Hirst looks incredibly creative, though I can’t say I’m impressed by the nonsense the Chapman brothers keep churning out.’

‘Erm, no, we missed that, I’m afraid.’ replied Simon.  Neither he nor Jane really felt comfortable enough to admit that they’d actually been watching Britain’s Got Talent.

Jane and Simon both reached for the cocktails.  If they were going to get through this evening, then they would certainly need a little lubrication.

—

Katie and Jenny talked long into the evening, until long after Katie’s parents had gone home and Jenny’s had retired to bed. Jenny was so excited to tell Katie about the party.

‘I think I’m going to ask Dallas out at the party. Do you think I should? Do you think he’ll say yes? What should I wear? What are you going to wear? I don’t want to be too tarty, or too casual… I hope Melissa Thomas isn’t going. I swear she’s after Dallas. I hate her, she’s such a cow.  I heard she snogged David Wright AND Jamie Corbin all in one night, and that was when Jamie was still going out with Kaya and everything’.

Katie took a bite out of the marshmallow and swallowed, hard.  She took a deep breath.

‘I don’t think I’m going’.

Jenny was affronted.  ‘You have to!’

‘It’s the night before the maths exam’

‘So?’

‘So?  I need to do well’

‘You always do well’

‘I don’t care.  I don’t want to be tired or hungover.  You know I want to do maths at college.  It’s alright for you, you don’t need to do well to do textiles‘.

Katie’s comments hung in the air.  She wished she could take that comment back.  She knew it was the one thing at school Jenny excelled at, the one thing she really loved.  She willed time to reverse, willed it to go away, willed herself to have not been so stupid, so callous.

‘Fine’.  Jenny retorted. ‘I’m off to bed’.

The next morning, Katie was desperate to apologise, but Jenny cut her off.

‘Don’t bother, K.  I know you don’t think my textiles course is as good as doing A-Levels.  There’s no point in pretending.  It’s fine.  I’m not as clever as you.  I don’t know if I’ll get into university like you will.  Don’t even say anything.’

They sat in silence until Simon came to pick Katie up.

—

Jenny was so excited. Her stomach was churning in nervous anticipation and she’d changed her clothes three times already. She couldn’t wait to see him, couldn’t wait to tell him how she felt, to tell him she loved him. She wondered what he would say. What if he said yes? Would he want to go all the way? She wondered if she was ready. She wanted to be. She wanted it to be him.

On her way to Dallas’s house, Jenny decided to call on Katie and see if she could change her mind. She would feel much more confident if her best friend was with her. This was a really important night for her and she really wanted Katie around.  Their spat of a few days ago had already been forgiven (if not quite forgotten).  Best friends didn’t bear those kind of grudges.  Best friends were there for each other.  Jenny needed Katie to be there for her.  She was always the courageous one, the one who gave Katie support, but now she needed the favour returning.

‘Come on.  Please‘.

‘I already told you.  I need to revise.  I’m sorry, I am, I just can’t’.

‘You don’t have to drink.  You don’t even have to stay long.  Please come, for me.  I need you’.

‘I can’t.  You’ll be fine, I know you will.  Tell me about it tomorrow’.

Katie watched her friend disappear into the night and wasn’t even sure whether she wanted to hear the details the next day.  This was how it was going to be from now on, she could see it.  When they went to college Jenny would be out partying, and dating.  She’d make new friends on her course, and so would Katie.  Things were going to change and they may as well get used to it now.  They were different people and they were going to take different paths.  It wasn’t how Katie wanted it to be, but it was inevitable.

But Jenny didn’t recount her tales of the night to Katie the next day. Her bed went unslept in that night, and the night after, and the night after that. Jenny Cleaver hadn’t even made it to Dallas’s party.

Jenny was gone.

_______________________________________________________________________

Author’s note: In Britain, ‘college’ doesn’t have the same meaning as in America.  College here is where you do professional or intermediate qualifications, such as vocational courses or ‘A-levels’ (more academic courses that are usually a prerequisite for university, though some vocational courses also get you to uni).  It’s often a stepping stone for 16-18 year olds after they leave school and before they go to university.